2012 was an year of contrasts.
If you are looking from the outside, you would see a great year for me professionally. I have learned a lot, definitely grown as an individual, achieved a lot of things which I set out to achieve not just in the beginning of the year but many many years ago.
While 2011 was about survival, 2012 was about consolidation.
But if I look at it from inside, it was not so great.
On Republic day 2012, I wrote a note on how I was fed up with the Indian state. How the government betrayed the nation during the winter session of the parliament was fresh on my mind. And then just when the year was about to end we saw how badly equipped, archaic, distorted society we live in.
2012 was a year when I discovered that I need to live a disciplined life to master my body and my mind. Recurring back ache and neck ache taught me that while it is ok to push the limits of my body and mind, I should slow down and not burn out. The battle with the demons in my mind was tough one.
2012 was the year of self-discovery for myself.
All the people I have spent time with, all the places I have lived at, all the books I have read and all the events around me have shaped my thoughts into what they are now. I sought out most of these experiences, forbidden or otherwise, in a quest guided by parental advise, curiosity, and mostly (I believe) rational thought spanning many many months to discover who I really am. My values today are distinct - from my parents even though they have had the most impact on my life, my sister, even though we shared a lot of experiences together, from my best friends with whom I shared and learned from. Things are different, yet, they are the same.
My twitter and facebook stream is littered with gems of intellectual masturbation - seeds of intellectuals I read and my own personal discoveries. I have started taking myself not so seriously. Humans have inhabited earth for 65 mn years and the earth itself is 5 bn years old. I have lived, learned, laughed, cried, argued, served for only 32 years. I am mindful that whatever I do in this life would be forgotten when someone takes my name for the last time. Yet, whatever I do changes the world in the itty bitty small way.
I discovered for myself that "in the end, the whole of life becomes an act of letting go, but what always hurts the most is not taking a moment to say goodbye." 2007 was the first time when I lost someone I deeply loved. 2012 would not be the last. I dont let go, I dont give up even though it is easier. I dont fit in.
( I wrote this post in the last week of December. Unfortunately I got interrupted and could not complete it. I believe I was taking myself too seriously by keeping it in draft mode and hoping that one day I would come back to it and finish it. I am setting it free even though it is wet behind the ears)
If you are looking from the outside, you would see a great year for me professionally. I have learned a lot, definitely grown as an individual, achieved a lot of things which I set out to achieve not just in the beginning of the year but many many years ago.
While 2011 was about survival, 2012 was about consolidation.
But if I look at it from inside, it was not so great.
On Republic day 2012, I wrote a note on how I was fed up with the Indian state. How the government betrayed the nation during the winter session of the parliament was fresh on my mind. And then just when the year was about to end we saw how badly equipped, archaic, distorted society we live in.
2012 was a year when I discovered that I need to live a disciplined life to master my body and my mind. Recurring back ache and neck ache taught me that while it is ok to push the limits of my body and mind, I should slow down and not burn out. The battle with the demons in my mind was tough one.
2012 was the year of self-discovery for myself.
All the people I have spent time with, all the places I have lived at, all the books I have read and all the events around me have shaped my thoughts into what they are now. I sought out most of these experiences, forbidden or otherwise, in a quest guided by parental advise, curiosity, and mostly (I believe) rational thought spanning many many months to discover who I really am. My values today are distinct - from my parents even though they have had the most impact on my life, my sister, even though we shared a lot of experiences together, from my best friends with whom I shared and learned from. Things are different, yet, they are the same.
My twitter and facebook stream is littered with gems of intellectual masturbation - seeds of intellectuals I read and my own personal discoveries. I have started taking myself not so seriously. Humans have inhabited earth for 65 mn years and the earth itself is 5 bn years old. I have lived, learned, laughed, cried, argued, served for only 32 years. I am mindful that whatever I do in this life would be forgotten when someone takes my name for the last time. Yet, whatever I do changes the world in the itty bitty small way.
I discovered for myself that "in the end, the whole of life becomes an act of letting go, but what always hurts the most is not taking a moment to say goodbye." 2007 was the first time when I lost someone I deeply loved. 2012 would not be the last. I dont let go, I dont give up even though it is easier. I dont fit in.
( I wrote this post in the last week of December. Unfortunately I got interrupted and could not complete it. I believe I was taking myself too seriously by keeping it in draft mode and hoping that one day I would come back to it and finish it. I am setting it free even though it is wet behind the ears)
